I want to make a zoo with you.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
