Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
it was like eating out sand paper
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
