yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
