Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
