my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
