dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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