surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
