What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
