if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Randomize
