She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
