people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
