fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
