This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize