I wish I only lived at night.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Randomize
