you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize