We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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