ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
50% drunk capacity currently
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
