The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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