HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I need moral support for this bender
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
