Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Randomize
