its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
