first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
