I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
