i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
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