I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
