Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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