He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
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