Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
