Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
should my penis look like a turkey
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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