You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize