think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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