The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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