ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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