shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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