Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
