Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize