About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
