They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
