Apparently you make a good broom.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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