I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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