i can't believe i had my finger in that
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
