she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
