hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
