I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
