ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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