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  Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.

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• Christ has come again!

  Submitted by DCThrope on Apr 30, 12 at 3:10pm

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• captian morgan tastes like bad decisions.

  Submitted by andstuff on Apr 30, 12 at 1:46pm

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• Was there a Second Coming?

  Submitted by GetOffMyLawn on Apr 30, 12 at 10:09pm

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• Girls have excuses for every type of alcohol they drink.

  Submitted by shaveydavey on Apr 30, 12 at 3:12pm

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• Doesn't count unless he can make you see God!

  Submitted by Hedonistic on Apr 30, 12 at 1:57pm

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• Legit story. I own a Jesus costume. Halloween was a good day for me.

  Submitted by partyrok on May 1, 12 at 5:26pm

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• suffer the children, let them come unto me so I may cum onto them

  Submitted by nunubeest on Apr 30, 12 at 2:46pm

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  • Children? At least go for legal, Nunu!

    Submitted by Hedonistic on Apr 30, 12 at 3:02pm

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    • 14 is legal where I'm at XD

      Submitted by nunubeest on Apr 30, 12 at 4:04pm

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      • Sounds like you're in a place where family trees don't fork. :-/

        Submitted by Hedonistic on Apr 30, 12 at 7:26pm

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        • That sounds oddly like where I live...

          Submitted by HoldMyLife on Apr 30, 12 at 8:18pm

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          • well its hot and there's alotta coffee and apparently Max Payne 3 takes place here which is silly since the cops are practically the army anyway but its party city

            Submitted by nunubeest on Apr 30, 12 at 9:52pm

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• Hallelujah!!

  Submitted by ZAK13 on Apr 30, 12 at 2:20pm

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• Eighty Eight

  Submitted by Eightyeight on Apr 30, 12 at 1:35pm

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  • number of blow jobs eighty eight gave his sneaky uncle while being quoted the teachings of Jesus.

    Submitted by Kevin201 on Apr 30, 12 at 5:35pm

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    • sneaky ? he's dressed like mini pearl

      Submitted by reeln on Apr 30, 12 at 6:28pm

      134 131

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  • Number of times he's blown a Spanish man named Jesus

    Submitted by Bagochit on May 1, 12 at 8:58am

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• I wish I could grow a beard. :/

  Submitted by TheRedderBaron on Apr 30, 12 at 3:59pm

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• So you ended up blowing Chris Ferguson?

  Submitted by Phys on Apr 30, 12 at 8:29pm

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• ok, no one knows how Jesus looks...so u cant reali say that u gave a blowjob to a guy that looked like Jesus....u just cant.

  Submitted by ATrueDiamond on Apr 30, 12 at 4:28pm

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• The number of times he blew men looking like Jesus...sober

  Submitted by soccer360 on Apr 30, 12 at 1:44pm

  121 164

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• Yo Ho, ask an you shall receive...

  Submitted by nmwhitehead on Apr 30, 12 at 5:37pm

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