you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
