i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
The best revenge is premature balding
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
