we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Randomize
