Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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