If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
