Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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