I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Is it penis luge time yet?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
