Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
