I smell stomach acid.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize