Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
