I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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