return my video game
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
