i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Randomize
