Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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