this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
