I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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