Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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