did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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