I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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