The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Someone came in the potted fern
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
