god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
