a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
