You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
