I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Randomize