Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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