my room smells like sperm. sweet.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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