1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
