i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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