But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
