New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
