Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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