The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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