Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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