I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
cat food counts as protein by the way
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
