garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Watching her eat just hurts me
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
