matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
